No Remorse

Recently, Carolann charmed me by nuzzling her head into my chest, then laughing, and then proclaiming,

"I just spit pepperonis on your favourite shirt, and I feel NO REMORSE!"

Clementining

Lately, Carolann hasn't been able to stop eating clementines.

She says: "If I eat anymore clementines, I will give myself the shits. I can feel them clementining around in my tummy. Getting rowdier. But they are so juicy and sweet I just can't stop. So pretty soon I'll have to eat them en route to the toilet."

... clementining.

The Celtic Walk

This is a video Carolann "happened upon".. or hunted down, more likely... that she sent me this evening. Her reactions, according to her, were "hooting" and "crying" and "CANNOT STOP WATCHING." So take that as a warning.

She says "why is it so perfect?! The guy windmilling his arms.... stoppppp ded"

The things she puts herself through so the rest of us can have a laugh.

Christmas Eve 2013

This past Christmas, approximately the entire city of Toronto lost power.. Some for a few hours, others for multiple consecutive days, causing people to lose hundreds of dollars of food, and having to wear winter jackets indoors. We, unfortunately, were in the latter group, but thanks to a connection of Carolann's, were able to spend a few nights in the hotel where she works. Despite the slightly warmer atmosphere, we were all more than a little upset to be spending Christmas Eve in multiple separate locations. And, thanks to the cold we had been experiencing, I was sick, with a fairly bad cough. Carolann had to sleep with me. The night took a turn for the better when the cough syrup hit me at about 2 in the morning.

I rub my legs, and to my dismay, discover bumps (goosebumps, probably, since they disappeared as quickly as they appeared) and exclaim: "OH GaaaWD, I HAVE A RASH!"

Carolann lets out a few chuckles, but she's still frustrated that she's been kept up this long by my incessant coughing.

A few minutes pass, and in my half-asleep, half-doped stupor, I come up with a very interesting twist on a Learmonth Family Christmas Tradition. The tradition being fried mushrooms with breakfast.

I say, somewhat sleepily: "So, what if.. we got ONE shroom... just one. And we mixed it in with the fried mushrooms.. so one person gets really high and can't understand what's going on.. and the rest of us just get to laugh at the person who ate the shroom... probably mommy or daddy.. since they eat most of them... You know.. like Shroom Roulette.. liven up Christmas morning?"

At this point Carolann has accepted that she won't be sleeping and proceeds to mock me for hours about how I wanted to drug the family on Christmas, all the while laughing at me with no remorse whatsoever.

The Yodeling Band

Carolann and I are in the middle of a facebook conversation concerning a date I have tomorrow, when she proceeds to send me random youtube videos, and then proposes yet another musical idea:

She says: I think we should start a yodeling band. Where basically. We just wear suspenders and mid-thigh shorts and tour the country yelling. And pretending to only speak german.

I say: Ja ja, sprechen sie deutsch. Nein nein, no spreche sie englisch.

She says: You say that. While I smile and whisper "oktoberfest." And hide beers in my pants.

The Learmonths

Hi guys.

So for those of you who don't know us, we are the Learmonth kids. There are three of us: two sisters (the oldest, and middle child) and then a younger brother. Carolann is the oldest, I am the middle child, and we are a year apart. And Jamie, who is two years younger than me, is the youngest. We were raised as half hippies, half musical and creative weirdos, which often result in hilarious and stupid things being said and done. In light of a recent flooding of these shenanigans, I have created this blog. I hope you enjoy our stupidity as much as we do.

Love, hugs, and weirdness abounding,

Christine Learmonth